deviant ART

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America the Beautiful? by =cheshirekazz:iconcheshirekazz:



I hail from the land of greed and sloth.

My life is synthesized, homogenized, pasteurized.
My thoughts censored and desensitized, demoralized and criticized.

I speak through the large end of a megaphone, my words growing smaller with each syllable.
Unheard by the abusive shrubs that bear down on me in this illusion of Eden.


I crawl with the ants upon whose backs this garden lies
Black, brown, red, yellow, an earthen plethora of species struggling to sustain.

Lost in the ghetto tunnels crushed underfoot by the elite and poisoned with the chemical tricklings of the rich and famous, convincing our young to hatch early and be half the worker they could be.

We march diligently to the beat of the drums of our ancestors in the naïve notion this is a nation of opportunity, community, wealth and generosity.

Only to have the rugs pulled from beneath us by a sadistic little boy with flammable liquid and a magnifying glass.
©2007-2008 =cheshirekazz
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Submitted: June 11, 2007
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=apexigod:iconapexigod: Jun 11, 2007, 9:15:05 PM
reminds me of george carlin, he did something kind of like that in his 1979 debut stand up act.

I totally understand what your saying, the world is full of shit and the next guy is just drooling at the chance to rub his special blend in your face.

great work kazz, keep it up.
~deathforgets:icondeathforgets: Jun 17, 2007, 1:38:33 PM
To a creature such as I, a poet - the only major weakness of this piece is in the last few stanzas. The lines become long, and the words are strung together too rapidly. I feel as though the thoughts rush, rather than flowing initially as they did in the beginning of the piece. However, considering the subject matter, and imagery used to construct the piece - it may be a desired effect. Various types of poetry, be they spoken word or limerick, aren't precisely things I've studied. I am merely a creature of intuition and imagination. I myself would make sure that line breaks and punctuation are being used to evoke precisely one's intention.
~hno3burns:iconhno3burns: Sep 9, 2007, 8:16:16 PM
nice

--
" Me oderint dum metuant" - (Let them hate me long as they fear me).
~mangakasami:iconmangakasami: Mar 11, 2008, 6:36:20 PM
how lovely!
great imagry, and i love the ending line!

--
i reject your reality! i like mine better!!!
:3
:heart: :strip: :heart: :strip: please don't forget meh! :heart: